In our series on “The Hidden Heart of Homemaking” we were privileged to have Debbie Krumsieg share with us some very wise counsel on the subject of “Loving Your Children Well.” Debbie was the daughter of missionary parents who loved and obeyed God, which meant there were costs to answering God’s call on their lives. “My parents sent me to boarding school in first grade, not because their work was more important than me, but because they were stewarding their responsibility as my parents. In the 60’s and 70’s growing and maturing in a Christian, American school system was the best way to prepare me for God’s unique calling in my life to serve Him. … I never went more than six weeks without seeing them until high school. My parents were so intentional and creative in communicating their love, and did (and do) play a huge part in making me who I am today. My parents are my heroes.” Those of us who have come to know Debbie are grateful for that careful, thoughtful parenting she experienced, which shaped a life that has been a blessing to so many.

Here are some highlights from Debbie’s presentation.

“Loving Your Children Well” 

Stewarding the Children God Gives Us

Debbie began by reminding us that the prophet Malachi exhorted God’s people to be faithful to their marriage vows SO THAT they might bring up godly offspring. (2:15) Debbie and her husband Andy have made it their goal to raise their five children to be godly offspring. Debbie confessed, “… Looking back on parenting … if I had the chance to start my parenting journey now, there are so many things I would do differently. But I’ve decided that that does not need to be a place for guilt, but for recognition that it is God’s grace that keeps growing and teaching us. I’d really be in a sad state if there weren’t things that I had learned over this long season of parenthood.

“Children are a blessing from the Lord! If I believe that He specifically created my unique children and gave them to us to parent, [we have to think about] how we steward well this big, long, precious responsibility of parenting.”

Debbie made this important distinction: “While we are called to provide shaping influences that can lead our children to their Heavenly Father, salvation never comes from our parental works. They each have a heart orientation that can be soft or hard to God, and as much as we would like, we don’t get control of their hearts. That means we are not responsible for their heart choices, just ours. And over all of it, God’s grace and mercy flows!! While in America, 85% of Christians said they made their commitment to Jesus between the ages of four and 14, we can never pressure or talk someone into this commitment, but we have an awesome opportunity with children! God first pursued me as a child and I joined God’s family on Christmas Day when I was five.

“I believe the place to begin and end all parenting discussion is on our knees. We do not have the wisdom we need to do this job well.” That includes

• Prayer for me—open hands before God, to be led even into hard places or parts of parenting we’d rather not go—for wisdom, patience, faith, energy, forgiveness, insight, love, and creativity.
• Prayer with me—group of moms or one friend that you can text or call for prayer any time—warriors to join you in the battle. I had to take the initiative seventeen years ago and invite five moms to meet once a month. After dinner, we literally go around to each mom and write down updates and prayer requests, for spouses, children and ourselves. It’s precious to be known and loved.
• Prayer for your children. I needed to focus on specific verses that were suitable to the season each kid was in and I sensed the Holy Spirit was showing me prayer bookmarks. My husband and I prayed nightly and sometimes over sleeping kids, praying for their individual needs. [As an example of God’s faithfulness to answer specific needs, when the Krumsieg’s son Aaron, a second grader, wanted to learn to play the trumpet, they discovered that “two blocks away at Herbert Hoover Boys and Girls Club was a branch of Webster University’s Community Music School—$5.00 a lesson with an awesome teacher.” Today, Aaron plays the trumpet with the Seoul, South Korea Symphony.]
• Prayer with your children—meal time; bed time (talk time), whenever a need arises.”

In what ways are your children (or the children of others) being shaped to be the godly offspring God is looking for?

We will continue next time with highlights from Debbie’s presentation, which will include the five facets of what she and her husband consider to be the essentials of raising godly offspring.