“Greeting Bill at the back door is the happiest time of my day.” Jane Smith

Today many young people are incredulous to learn that two people can stay happily married for 60 years or that home-making can be a rewarding, life-long pursuit. But that is the case with my friends Bill and Jane Smith whom we have known for at least 35 of those years. I asked Jane if I could interview her to fill in the blanks because I felt theirs as a story that needed to be told – a story of commitment, and enduring love that reached out to embrace many beyond their immediate family (which now has grown to include seven grandchildren and at this writing, one great-grandchild and second expected very soon.)

As I sat around the Smith’s dining room table with eight other guests celebrating the incoming New Year, I was aware that Bill and Jane were an accomplished team who, after years of practice, had mastered the art of making their home a place where we all wanted to be. Jane’s creative touches enhanced nearly every corner of the house. Remarkable to me is that after all these years her culinary skills and interest in cooking have not diminished in the least. But more than that, it’s the warmth of their hospitality, their enjoyment of people and of one another that’s most infectious.

Bill and Jane began the grand adventure of married life on February 8, 1958. Bill, a navy pilot instructor, was a Christian whose parents’ divorce had forged in him a determination that marriage was a life-time commitment; divorce was not an option. Jane, as a young bride of nineteen, recalls she was “convinced of who Jesus was but not converted” at that point. However, within the first five years of their marriage, Jesus revealed Himself to her, and as husband and wife, the two grew together in their relationship with Christ.

Jane had plenty of opportunity during Bill’s tenure in the Navy to practice making a home because their family moved seven times. Sometimes it was necessary for Bill to be gone for up to ten months at a time, leaving Jane at home to “normalize” family life for their three, sometimes resentful children, alternately relinquishing and assuming the primary parenting role as their father came home and then shipped out. Jane learned the importance of quickly “making a home” for the family; the alternative of living out of boxes while waiting for the next assignment wasn’t an option. She also set about getting to know her neighbors, and found that military families were eager to make new friends. At one point when the Smiths realized they were surrounded by un-churched families, they began hosting a “home church” for children in the neighborhood.

Although their father might not be home for dinner, Jane wanted their children to have the experience of enjoying good food and of learning good manners. She remembered the one time each of the children was allowed to choose his/her own TV dinner; they were thrilled. After the children were grown and married, Bill and Jane were led to welcome a series of young people into their home, some for an extended period of time—always seeking the Lord’s guidance before extending the invitation. Some who came to them were in need of a temporary home, others were dealing with varying degrees of trauma and others simply needed to put some distance between themselves and their own families for a brief time. As Jane recalled, not all were really pleasant situations and at times they had to assume the parenting role of speaking a hard truth. But each one had an opportunity to experience the grace and love of Christ through the Smith’s hospitality, and at least one of their guests came to know Him in a deeply personal way as Savior.

I asked Jane about some of the lessons she had learned through the years and these were a few: “Cultivate friendships with women who have the same view of marriage that you do and avoid the toxic game of husband-bashing women sometimes play.” She said, “I learned how essential it is to respect Bill as a husband, as a man and how counter-productive manipulating a husband can prove to be. Whereas, I tend to operate on a more emotional level, I’ve discovered that by deferring to Bill’s more measured reasoning, our course of action has turned out well.

“A husband needs to be admired. He is my protector and I am his. Being in our home is a source of great pleasure for both of us. We nearly always have dinner together, sometimes by candlelight. In fact, we do most things together, but we each have our own interests and circles of friends who enrich our lives.”

As for keeping the sweetness of their relationship, Jane said, “We thank one another a lot. ‘Thank you for doing my wash.’ ‘Thank you for making this wonderful dinner.’ ‘Thank you for carrying in that bag for me’.”

After we all had enjoyed the wonderful New Years Eve dinner, I heard Bill say, “Jane, you’ve just outdone yourself tonight.”

For whom are you preparing your home?

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