God’s Very Good Gift – Repentance

A Page from Julie's Journal

Father, thank you for loving me as you do – so gently, so sweetly as I wake and come to you in prayer this morning. It is your grace that leads me to repentance, a place where I find myself totally unworthy and helpless, but also, a place of hope and love only you can offer. I have read that it is your kindness that kills my idol worship, my offenses and my selfishness, exposing my heart full of self so that I might turn towards you. Here, I find myself wanting more of you and less of me. When you first touched me, and wooed me close to you, I remember how often I prayed, “May you increase so that I may decrease.” That is never truer than it is today as I find myself sitting on the throne rather than yielding to Jesus and having him take his rightful place in my life.

I ask that you lead me into repentance daily, Father, because daily I sin and rebel. When I take my eyes off of you, I fall into a downward spiral of self, only to gratify the flesh and grieve the Holy Spirit. My faith weakens and I find myself living outside the promises of God. I begin to trust in my own understanding rather than leaning on and trusting in You. (Proverbs 3:5) This is when Satan lands on my shoulder and begins spewing his lies.

But as your favor falls on me, God, it is at that moment that your great work begins in me again. I freely admit that I have sinned. And, You are faithful to forgive my sin and continually cleanse me from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) I find that in my morning devotion, your Word leads me to repentance. What an exercise for spiritual growth! As weight lifting is a part of my life, so is lifting up your Word high above my heart for the strengthening of my soul.

Today, what I want more than anything is to live and love as your daughter in Christ – to do the things that you have planned for me to do long ago. (Ephesians 2:10) It’s my desire to have a repentant heart, so that you may live and breathe in me, letting my joy and hope flow freely outward to others who are hurting, confused and lost. I want to be able to love without judgment, to walk with other sinners, and be ready to give an answer for the hope I have in You. When I do this, Father God, I know that I am forever and truly yours! My heart jumps a beat and a smile crosses my heart. Jesus, all this is possible because of You. May I never lose sight of the marvelous and miraculous.

Thank you for asking me to come follow you. This truly has been your best request of me. Every step of our journey together has brought me closer to you and further from self. Oh, the day when I see you in person, I pray with my whole heart to hear the words “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:21)

Julie Jostrand

HHM Board Member