Last week we introduced you to Jackie Dunne, a busy wife and mom, facilitator for The Cry of the Hidden Heart, and most importantly, a lover and student of God’s Word. This week enjoy with her the process of listening to and discerning His still small voice in the practical decisions that confront us on a daily basis.
I almost applied for another job. I do this from time to time from the comfort of my home, often in my pajamas. This one was a job to manage my church bookstore. It had everything I like: books, bibles, a new facility with a coffee shop attached, and all those lovely church people to rub shoulders with. The only problem was the hours, which were Saturdays, Sundays, and evenings. Those hours with my family’s schedule just wouldn’t work; at least not for this season in our lives.
I was praying about it this morning. I asked God to “direct my path” and to put His finger on that thing in my heart that made me long for work outside my home when He had clearly shown me His desire for me to “wait,” “trust Him to provide,” and to “stay at home right now.” In the quiet, I heard His still, small voice. It whispered that I want to get “seen.” I want to be noticed as important, worthwhile, and competent. I want some praise and accolades. I heard God say, “I see you, Jackie. You are working for Me. I love you and we are together.”
When God is teaching me something, it seems like every time I turn around, I hear the same lesson over and over again. In church yesterday, a guest pastor taught how one of God’s names is El Roi; “The God Who sees me.” He explained about how having times of solitude and silence with God, to sit with God and simply be seen by Him, is to allow yourself to be loved by God. Or more simply, “To be seen by God is to be loved by God.”
So I’m learning that The God Who Sees Me and the God who loves me fills up that hole in my heart that wants the world to notice me and think well of me. I’m learning not to despise these days of small things (Zech. 4:10), and that “whatever I do, work at it with all my heart, as if working for the Lord, not for men.” (Colossians 3:23) That He sees the piles of laundry I’m washing, the dinners I’m cooking and the errands I’m running. That He’s with me when I’m doing all these small (to me) things.
Most of all, I’m learning how God just wants to love me. I don’t have to perform, do, or achieve. I can just be His daughter and His beloved. And on most days for me, that’s enough.
“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)