The other day my ten-year-old daughter shared that she was most grateful to me and my husband for these three things:
1. Getting her two hamsters
2. Letting her go to camp
3. Promising to never get a divorce
It is always nice to know where you rank in your children’s priorities! But, hamsters and camp aside, she gave me a glimpse into her heart and the security she feels in knowing that her parents are committed “ ‘til death do us part.”
My twelve year old just returned from camp and said that during sharing time, many of the kids talked about the impact of their parents’ divorces on their lives. She said, “Mom, some of them talked about how their parents hated each other now and how it made them feel like their lives were ripped in two.”
We have all heard Malachi 2:16, “God hates divorce.” Well, kids do, too. The world has tried to put a Band-Aid on the divorce epidemic by saying, “It is better to come from a broken home than live in one.” But the truth is, every home is broken – by sin and selfishness – and in desperate need of husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, who will seek God’s ways over their own.
As my husband and I get ready to celebrate our twentieth anniversary next month, we are reflecting on this bumpy, beautiful, refining adventure. And yes, along the journey, we have echoed the sentiments of Ruth Bell Graham, “No, I’ve never thought of divorce in all these years of marriage, but I did think of murder a few times.” It has not been easy, but we can say that it has been the best decision of our lives. I cannot imagine that we would have made it this far without being surrounded by godly, wise mentors and counselors who have prayed for us, corrected us when we veered off course, and reminded us that the love of Christ (not our own love) is the fuel of our marriage.
I often wonder why our culture does not have the same attitude toward marriage that we have toward parenting. As a rule, parents do not divorce their children. Even when their kids cause unbearable heartache and financial hardship, parents instinctively know that this is part of parenting – for better for worse, ‘til death do us part. Most parents will endure anything to see their child make it in life.
Hidden Heart Ministry exists to help women find the joy, purpose and perseverance God intended for marriage. My husband THANKS GOD that I have the women of Hidden Heart Ministry who constantly point me to the love of Jesus and teach me how to bring His love and forgiveness into my marriage. And my kids thank Him, too.